Archive for September, 2011

Woman's Hand Holding DandelionA year ago today, this moment, in fact, I was a few miles up in the sky, flying. Well, not just me flying, although that would have been even more memorable and noteworthy than what I am writing now. In any case, I was in a plane. My kids were as well. I’d venture to say they enjoyed the trip more than me. My daughter spent most of it choosing one video after another from her own personal TV, right in front of her seat. My older son spent most of it sleeping next to me. My younger son spent most of it sleeping on me. Yes, it was a tiring trip. Come to think of it, I don’t know if I’ve yet caught up on that sleep deficit.

One year since moving from India, home for nearly 12 years, (nearly 15 years of my life altogether), back to the town where I grew up (more or less). A year passes so quickly, it’s almost hard to believe.

You would think (or I would hope) that after a year of change and new experiences, I would have something outstanding to share. Something deep. Lessons from the wellsprings of the soul.

Maybe it’s that sleep deficit finally catching up, but I was drawing blanks.

There are some things I hadn’t planned for that are now happening, such as me going to college (something I never thought I would do when I graduated from high school 14 years ago).

There are some things I had planned to do, that I’m not doing after all, such as educating my kids at home (something I always thought I would do.) [The older two are attending a great school and being taught by dedicated and loving teachers, and I am attempting some early learning and “unschooling” with the youngest.]

Some things have come into focus and have become clearer than before. Other things are so fuzzy that I wonder if I will ever get close enough (or maybe far enough?) to see them clearly.

A few things stand out though…

A loving family really is priceless and wonderful.

Distance doesn’t really matter to true friends.

There is no such thing as “too old” (or too young for that matter) to start over, or to begin learning something new.

A calling that is felt deeply in the heart remains, no matter where on earth you might be, how far you travel, or how far you might feel from home. Everyone has an awesome purpose.

It doesn’t take traveling from one side of the world to the other to start over; that can happen at any time, or even each new day, when God’s mercy and love is as new as the day it began (which was forever ago).

Although certain specific steps on the path of life might be unknown or hazy, and you might not even know if it’s the “right” one, it’s reassuring to know where the journey leads, and the reason for the trip.

Speaking of right, if the heart means well, and the soul is ever drawing nearer to the Creator, no matter how big or small you feel, or how far or near, there is no “wrong” place, for we are all guided by Everlasting Love, ever closer to “…one day face to face.”

Last but not least, if this all still makes sense when I wake up tomorrow (after having overcome some of that overwhelming deficit), I think I’ll keep on writing. 🙂


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double rainbow in cloudsEvery cloud is silver lined,

Or so the stories say,

But how and why, I sadly pined,

My best friend passed away,

Does the cloud reach out a hand,

To dry a tear-stained face?

Turn the hourglass so the sand

Returns from its pain-filled place?

No, said a voice within my heart,

It cannot do these things,

But it shows that though raindrops start,

There’s one who sees all things,

Perhaps the storm will pass your way,

Quench your joy in chilling wrath,

But when again the sunbeams play,

You’ll find more illumined your morning’s path,

For as your tears awaken your soul,

And cleanse your heart from errant ways,

As the heartbreak makes you whole,

A treasure on your path now lays,

And as you walk the way that’s shown,

You’ll find the storm left in its wake,

A treasure that you sought to own,

But from another could not take,

Treasures of love that come only through pain,

Treasure of joy only sorrow can bring,

Treasure of peace through the wind and the rain,

Treasure of flight, like a bird on the wing,

Delight in the treasures laid on your path,

For only therein may your heart awake,

It is in love and not through wrath,

That nobler form your trail take,

And when your heart seeks for the joy,

Evoking serenity through pain,

When deepest dreams you will employ,

Realized only after the storm and rain,

Hidden truth your thoughts expose,

And lift them as diamonds from a cave,

As thorns would hide a lovely rose,

Yet a lover’s hand would risk to save,

Thus see the yonder morning’s glow,

As radiant light outshines the storm,

Lift your eyes to colored bow,

Take in the iridescent form,

Let your gait hold steady now,

As the morning’s path you tread,

Not seeking shallow joys somehow,

But treasure you’ll find instead.

(Written in 1999, dedicated to Trina)

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